


I think you have to see this as an opportunity

by tetracontakaidigon



Category: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 17:57:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetracontakaidigon/pseuds/tetracontakaidigon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A scene from 17 People, reimagined. </p>
<p>TOBY<br/>Why does Hoynes think the President isn't going to run again? What's going on, Leo?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I think you have to see this as an opportunity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArmchairElvis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArmchairElvis/gifts).



LEO  
Toby, take it easy in there, okay?

Charlie enters from the Oval Office.

CHARLIE  
You can go in.

Leo and Toby enter THE OVAL OFFICE.

TOBY  
Good evening, Mr. President.

BARTLET  
Good evening, Toby. Can I fix you a drink?

TOBY  
No, thank you, sir.

BARTLET  
Have a drink with me.

TOBY  
Yes, sir.

BARTLET  
Bourbon and white. I'll have my usual tomato juice.

TOBY  
Thank you, sir.

BARTLET  
You know what I found out recently? To be called bourbon, it has to come from Kentucky. Otherwise it's called sour mash. [pause] An Algerian-born terrorist named Redin Hassan was recently arrested at the Canadian border in a U-Haul carrying ten 2-ounce jars of nitroglycerin.

TOBY  
And they don't allow that kind of thing?

BARTLET  
No. On advice from State and Intelligence, I've closed the embassies in Tanzania and Brussels.

TOBY  
What about the FAA?

BARTLET  
They wanted me to heighten security, order the Air Force, but it's a holiday weekend. I don't know. Toby, I got to tell you something...

TOBY  
Sir-excuse me, sir, does the FAA have to produce evidence of a credible theory?

BARTLET  
Yeah.

TOBY  
How do they do that?

BARTLET  
I don't know...

TOBY  
Is there a time frame?

BARTLET  
About an hour. Toby, about 10 years ago, for a period of a few months, I was feeling run down and had a pain in my leg. They both subsided, but 8 years ago, the pain came back, as well as numbness. My vision would become blurry and I'd feel dizzy. During an eye exam, the doctor detected abnormal pupil responses and ordered an MRI. What happened to me after that... it was complicated. The pain went away, but something else did too. Some people would say it makes me inhuman. Undead.

TOBY  
I'm sorry, sir?

BARTLET  
I'm a vampire.

Toby is shocked and speechless.

FADE OUT.  
END ACT ONE  
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT  
Bartlet, Leo, and Toby are sitting quietly.

TOBY  
Do you... you know... feed?

BARTLET  
I'm sorry?

TOBY  
Do you drink people's blood?

BARTLET  
It's... I don't know... not usually.

TOBY  
Not usually?

BARTLET  
Yeah, as opposed to “always,” or “whenever I get the chance.” Not usually. 

TOBY  
But sometimes.

BARTLET  
Yeah. Only when I have to. When I can save people, rather than kill them. 

TOBY  
Is that tomato juice?

BARTLET  
No, no it's not. 

TOBY  
And you don't kill anyone?

BARTLET  
Only people who endanger other people.

TOBY  
Can you... I'm sorry. Can you be killed?

BARTLET  
No. That's the good news. The bad news is there's no cure.

TOBY  
Yeah, that I knew. [beat] What about...

BARTLET  
Stakes and garlic?

TOBY  
Yeah.

BARTLET  
Sort of. 

TOBY  
Is there any way of protecting from that?

BARTLET  
No.

Toby stands up, rubbing his head.

TOBY  
[beat] I'd like to stand up. Can I stand?

BARTLET  
Yeah.

TOBY  
I'm sorry, sir... I need to, uh... Can I, uh... Excuse me.

Toby walks out to the portico.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my mother, who owns all seven seasons of The West Wing and took us to see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and who thought this fic seemed reasonable when I pitched it to her and had her proofread. Thanks to westwingtranscripts.com for existing. My apologies to Aaron Sorkin.


End file.
